Sara: She was my neighbour, she lived across the street. She was the centre of the neighbourhood, everyone thought she was cute and she danced and she was funky, but she also liked everyone’s attention on her so I had to fight to be her like “Little girlfriend” or whatever. Occasionally my sister says that she was her girlfriend to but I don’t think she was polyamorous i’m not sure she was aware of what that that would mean. So I’m pretty sure I was her primary partner if she was polyamorous. But we used to play house together and I would always get to be the husband and sometimes she would ask for my jean jacket… I’m serious these are all true details about her. And in grade three when we left the neighbourhood, so we were going steady for about three years, steadyish… She was a grade younger than me which made it complicated in grade one, she was still in kindergarden, different schools it was awkward. We would see each other after school it was very exciting. I would be anticipating. We had a lot in common. She was more feminine than I was. But in grade three we moved away and when my mom told me we were moving my first thought was about this girl. Lets call her Tamie. I did have a cousin named Tamie, I mean I do, she’s not dead. That’s not the reason that I picked that name. But anyways, Tamie, all I could think about was Tamie when my mom told us that we were moving and I imagined even as a little kid I imagined having her school picture blown up and having it framed and put it next to my bed or whatever. The thing is that like when you say unrequited love, I mean I make it seem like she was into me as I was into her. Even as an elementary school kid I knew that Chris… Tamie, not Chris anything. Tamie, I knew that she, I just knew that she would never be, never really be my girlfriend because, well she was straight and she loved boys and as she got older we kept in touch a little bit and sure enough she was pregnant living in a trailer in like in high school. But she was my first sorta version of unrequited love because she liked me but she was never going to fully commit to me and that’s why, that’s the beginning, that was the first.
Camera person: And you said that unrequited love is addictive.
Sara: It’s so addictive and so like I feel like she started the pattern of they love your attention, they are not necessarily, it’s not one-on-on highway. She wants to able to go on country road in the back way and maybe take a train and fly. I’m not saying she was a slut. But she defiantly was into getting my attention but not necessarily into just my attention. Like I would always had to be working to get her to like me you know. I had like to fight all the other kids in the neighbourhood like to get her attention. I mean I was fighting Tegan you know. I had a lot of competition, a lot of predators. She was adorable.
Camera person: Was is kind of a prize that you never won?
Sara: I don’t know because, I like to blame, I knew deep down inside she would never be really mine but I like to blame the move. As if I left her, like maybe i’m the one who got away. Because like I would tell her like I’m going to frame this picture I would imagine it in my new bedroom I had never seen I would put the picture next to the bed and I would just be like [crying tif]. you know like look at the picture or whatever. But like lets be honest I mean the first day I moved in to my new house I met Michael who was like the neighbour down the street he a box of hockey cards and I was like “Tamie who?”
